Series: Batman: The Brave and the Bold tv series
Character Age: HERO
Job: Official Story Teller
Canon: Batman: The Brave and the Bold is a cartoon that gets to the heart of DC Comics: how much everyone has a boner for Batman. Heroes and villains of varying degrees of popularity all get their turns either fighting with or against Batman in a show that mixes well both the early camp years and the later dark years of He Who Calls Himself The Night.
Aquaman is one of the more regularly recurring characters in this show. A far cry from his usual lackluster background self, this version of the king of Atlantis is boisterously loud, obnoxiously cheerful and more than capable of punching sharks right in the face. He loves fighting crime, telling stories and - like everyone else - pairing up with the Batman whenever possible (even if Batman would rather pretend to be near death). He'll give an outlandish title to any adventure possible, and if he can interject a loud outrageous! into a situation, he will.
Ahoy there, young people of the corn lands! I, Aquaman - superhero, king of Atlantis and one of Batman's closest, most trusted friends - have come from the depths of the great blue abyss, here to save you all from a fate worse than death - boredom!
I was contacted just the other day by your fair queen, the Director Elizabeth, regarding the poor quality of entertainment around these dry parts! I call it, "The Tale of the Chloroformed Letter!" - although I am, of course, immune to anything mere seaweed produce. And while I do find booby-trapping a letter in poor taste, I was moved by its contents, a clear plea for help if I ever saw one: "congratulations, you have been promoted to OFFICIAL STORY TELLER"! Outrageous! I knew right away something was rotten in the state of where ever this place is, so I made my way here as fast as I could - for truth, justice and the sake of fun!
Which is clearly something this place has never heard of. Look at all this flat, dry land! Nary a pond or a river in sight, and do you call those trees? Those wouldn't pass for kelp down in Atlantis! And all this corn - far too much of it! It's cluttering up the landscape, completely taking over any good fighting ground! Can you bounce yourself off a stalk of corn, or punch a supervillain into it and get a good thwack sound? I think not!
Why, I can't recall the last time I ever saw such a dull, lifeless, unexciting place in my life - which reminds me of a story! I call it, "Aquaman's Most Boring Brush with Death!" There I was, standing on the flattest piece of land surrounded by corn and wheat on all sides, and deadly ninja zombies on the all the other sides when- oh, sorry, that was just a few minutes ago.
Good Poseidon's fins, this is tedious. Brace yourselves, my young chums! There's adventures to be had and by guppy, we will have them!
And the voting post. 100% again, fuck yeah!